Should I tell my partner about my abortion

Do I have to tell my partner?

No. This is often the first thing women want to know, so we will say it plainly. Under the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act, when an adult woman seeks an abortion, it is her own written consent that the law asks for. Your husband's or partner's consent is not required, his signature is not needed, and he does not have to be told. You sign the consent form yourself, in your own name, and that is what counts. Many women carry an old fear that they cannot go ahead unless a husband or partner agrees. That fear is not the law. Whether you tell him is a personal decision, and it is yours alone to make. The law makes no difference between married and unmarried women here: the right to safe, lawful care is exactly the same.

What might help me decide?

There is no single right answer, and nobody can make this choice for you. But a few gentle questions can help you think it through. What do you hope would happen if you told him? Would telling him bring you comfort and practical support, or would it bring pressure, blame or conflict? Would it change your decision, or only change how you feel while you go through with it? And when you imagine keeping it to yourself, does it feel like a heavy secret, or like a private decision that simply belongs to you? There is no wrong feeling here. Some women want to share it because they would rather not carry the decision alone. Others know their situation well enough to be sure that telling would only make things harder. Both are valid choices, made by women who know their own lives.

If I decide to tell him, how do I start?

If you choose to tell him, think first about when and where. A calm moment, somewhere private, when neither of you is rushed, usually goes better than a hurried conversation. You do not have to explain every detail or defend your reasons. You can simply share what is happening, what you have decided or are still deciding, and what kind of support you would like from him — perhaps to listen, to come with you, or simply to give you space. It can help to decide beforehand what you will do if the conversation becomes difficult; you can pause it, or end it, at any time. Sharing the news does not hand the decision over to him. You can listen to his feelings and still keep your own choice. If you would like to talk it through with someone first, you can speak with us in confidence.

Is it wrong to keep it private?

No. Choosing not to tell your partner does not make you dishonest or a bad person. Many women make this choice for thoughtful reasons: the relationship may be new, or over; you may already know how he is likely to react; or you may simply feel that this is about your own health and your own body. Keeping it private can also protect your peace at a time when you need calm, not argument. You may decide to tell him later, or never, and either is fine. What matters most is that you do not go through it feeling completely alone. A trusted friend, a sister or another adult you trust can be your support instead. The feelings that come with this time are real, and our guide to the emotions of an abortion may help.

Can someone else come with me to the hospital?

Yes, and it does not have to be your partner. For a surgical abortion, which is done under anaesthesia, our policy is that you come with a responsible adult who can take you home afterwards, because it is not safe to travel home alone after anaesthesia. That person can be anyone you trust: a friend, a sister, a relative or a colleague. For other types of abortion, you may come on your own. If arranging a companion feels difficult because you want to keep things private, tell us when you call, and we will help you find a way. Whoever comes with you, only you decide how much they are told about your care. Free patient transport is available from across Goa and nearby areas, which can make the day easier to arrange quietly.

Will the hospital tell my partner or family?

No. Your privacy is part of every visit. The law protects the identity of a woman who seeks this care, and we protect it in practice too. We do not inform your partner, your family or your workplace, and we do not confirm anything to anyone who telephones asking about you. Your records are kept confidential. If you would like us to contact you only on a particular number, only at certain times, or never to leave a message, just tell us and we will follow it. And the care itself is the same careful care every woman receives, whether or not anyone else knows: 100% single-use disposable instruments, opened fresh for you, and real-time ultrasound guidance for every surgical procedure, which lowers the risk of complications such as perforation.

Where and how is this care given?

Abortion care is given lawfully at a government-licensed hospital in Goa, and always in person. We do not send medicines by post or courier, and no abortion is done by phone. A call, a message or an online consultation can tell you whether treatment is feasible and guide your next step, but any abortion service is received in person, here, where you can be properly assessed and looked after. Married or unmarried, you are welcome, and you will be treated with the same respect as anyone else. This guide is by Dr Mayur Pai, MBBS, MS in Obstetrics & Gynaecology.

Getting started

Whether you tell your partner or not, you do not have to face this alone. Call or message us and tell us, in confidence, what is happening and how you would like to be contacted. We will listen without judgement, tell you whether treatment is feasible, and guide your next step. This article is for education only and is not personal medical advice; please consult your doctor about your own situation.

Or call +91 75582 52088 · 0832 251 3641

This page is for general education and is not personal medical advice. Treatment depends on your own examination and reports, so please speak to a doctor about your situation. We do not carry out or offer sex determination of any kind.