How can I support someone through an abortion?
Lawful, licensed, confidential. Termination of pregnancy at Pai Hospital is carried out lawfully under the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act, 1971 (as amended), at a licensed facility, by registered medical practitioners, within the limits and the certification that the Act requires. We do not carry out or offer sex determination of any kind, at any stage, for any reason. Your identity and your treatment are confidential.
You can support someone through an abortion by listening without judgement, respecting that the decision is hers, keeping her privacy, and helping in practical ways. For a surgical abortion under anaesthesia, you can be the responsible adult who takes her home. Afterwards, help her rest and know the warning signs that mean calling the hospital.
What does she need from you first?
If someone you love has told you she is planning an abortion, you may feel worried and unsure of what to say. Your wish to help matters far more than finding perfect words. What most women need first is simple: someone calm who listens, does not lecture, and stays. Let her share as much or as little as she wants, in her own time.
Keep your questions gentle and practical. Asking “How can I help?” is kinder than asking her to explain her reasons. She does not owe anyone an explanation.
How can you respect her decision and her privacy?
The decision belongs to her. If you are her partner, you may have strong feelings of your own, and that is human; talking them through with someone you trust means she is not carrying your feelings as well as her own. Your role now is to support her, not to decide for her. A few plain words, such as “I am with you, whatever you choose”, can lift an enormous weight.
Privacy matters just as much. What she has told you is hers to share, so please keep it to yourself, with family, friends and online. At the hospital her privacy is protected too: if you call to ask about her, we will share only what she has agreed to share. And if she is not married, she is just as welcome. This is lawful care, and every woman is treated with the same privacy and respect.
How can you help her take the first step?
Abortion care in India is lawful under the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act when it is given by a qualified doctor at a government-licensed facility, and it is always given in person. We do not send any medicine by post or courier, and we do not carry out any abortion by phone. A call, a message or an online consultation can tell whether treatment is feasible and guide the next step; the treatment itself happens at the hospital in Goa.
You can help by sitting with her for that first call or message, and by helping her gather any reports and a list of the medicines she takes. If she has decided, gently encourage her not to delay, because earlier care is usually simpler. Free patient transport is available from across Goa and nearby areas, so the journey need not be a worry.
Should you go with her on the day?
That depends on the kind of care she has, and on what she wants. For a surgical abortion, which is done under anaesthesia, our policy is that she comes with a responsible adult who can take her home afterwards, because it is not safe to travel home alone after anaesthesia. That person can be you. For other types of abortion, she may come on her own, and whether she would like company is her choice.
If you do go, your job is quiet and steady: be there, wait patiently, and follow the team's instructions for the journey home. If finding a companion is difficult for her, she can tell us when she calls, and we will help her find a way. Our guide to abortion day care and what to expect walks through the visit step by step.
How is her safety looked after?
It is natural to worry about someone you love going into hospital, so here is exactly what we do. This guide is by Dr Mayur Pai, MBBS, MS in Obstetrics & Gynaecology. Care begins with an ultrasound scan to confirm where the pregnancy is and to plan the right care. We use 100% single-use disposable instruments: each one is opened fresh for her alone and never used on anyone else, so there is no cross-contamination between patients.
Every surgical procedure, whether suction or a D and C, is carried out under real-time ultrasound guidance, with the doctor watching the womb on a screen throughout. This lowers the risk of complications such as perforation, an injury to the wall of the womb. It also shows the exact moment the womb is empty, so the procedure stops right there, with no unnecessary scraping (no over-curettage). That helps protect the lining of the womb for any pregnancy she may want in the future.
How can you help her recover at home?
Recovery is usually straightforward, and the most useful help is often ordinary. Take over meals, chores and errands for a few days so that she can rest. Keep water and simple food within reach, make sure she has sanitary pads, and remind her to take any medicine the doctor has advised exactly as directed. Some bleeding and cramping, a little like a period, is expected and should ease day by day.
Help her keep her follow-up appointment even if she feels well, because it is how the doctor confirms that everything has settled. Our guide to recovery after an abortion explains what is normal in more detail.
What should you watch for afterwards?
Most recoveries are smooth, but know the signs that mean she should call the hospital without delay: very heavy bleeding that soaks through pads quickly, or bleeding that keeps getting worse; severe pain that pain relief does not ease; a fever or chills; a foul-smelling discharge; or feeling faint. Our page on bleeding after an abortion explains what is expected and what is not.
Watch her feelings gently too. Relief, sadness, tiredness or a mixture are all normal. Give her space without withdrawing, and let her set the pace. If low feelings linger, encourage her to tell us; support is part of our care. You can read more about the emotions of an abortion. And look after yourself as well.
Getting started
If she would like to talk to us, or you are helping her take the first step, call or message us. Her first consultation can be online; it will tell whether treatment is feasible and guide the next step, but the treatment itself is always given in person at the hospital in Goa. Whatever she shares with us stays private. This article is for education only and is not personal medical advice; please consult your doctor about your own situation.
Can I go with her on the day of the abortion?
Yes, if she would like you there. For a surgical abortion, which is done under anaesthesia, our policy is that she comes with a responsible adult who can take her home afterwards, and that can be you. For other types of abortion, she may come on her own.
What warning signs should I watch for after an abortion?
Call the hospital if she has very heavy bleeding that soaks through pads quickly, severe pain that pain relief does not ease, a fever or chills, a foul-smelling discharge, or if she feels faint. If something feels wrong, it is always right to call.
Can I arrange the treatment for her by phone?
You can help her make the first call or message, which can tell whether treatment is feasible and guide the next step. But no abortion is done by phone and no medicine is sent by post. She must come to the hospital in Goa in person.
She is not married. Will she be treated differently?
No. This is lawful care in India, and every woman is treated the same, with the same privacy and respect.
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This page is for general education and is not personal medical advice. Treatment depends on your own examination and reports, so please speak to a doctor about your situation. We do not carry out or offer sex determination of any kind.